Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
