I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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