Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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