physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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