Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
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