i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
