I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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