Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I need to align my fucking chakras
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
