Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
