YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Randomize
