I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
