Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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