when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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