Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
