There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
