You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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