I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
