everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
