What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
