Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
