It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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