I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize