You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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