Just fell off a train. Bad.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
