You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize