I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
How external is "for external use only"?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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