btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
