fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
