Having a random hookup so left but love u
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
