i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
