My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
