You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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