I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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