Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
