The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
