remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
