Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
