I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
