hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize