exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
one might say we're banned from that church
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
being pregnant is like rehab
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Im part way to drunk.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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