He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
