I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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