dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
there is puke in my bra ... again
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