Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize