Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
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