I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize