Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
