I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize