Where are you?
In a non slutty way
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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