i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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