And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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