You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
