What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
