do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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