dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize