Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
