I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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