We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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