I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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