next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
