id be glad to
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
