i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize